midnight poetry

hey.

last night was one of those nights where i couldn’t get to sleep, and when i finally did, it would only last for a few minutes.

it’s easy to write when the rest of the world is asleep. no one is looking over my shoulder or asking what i mean. truth is, meaning is hard. finding something to hold onto even when hope is hiding isn’t easy.

i hope you know what i mean.

here’s the last few months of my sleepless nights.


4-19-18
say we’re clueless and insecure
we’re just being kids
spent so much time killing ourselves
we forgot how to live

when the tables all turn
and the cards all fold
we were right to rebel
we won’t do as we’re told

«            »

6-14-18
you said you can do this on your own
you keep pushing me away
i know it hurts you inside
but i’ll come back again

you’ve been feeling so misplaced
but you found comfort in your hideaway
locked in your room
ding things you swore you’d never do again

but we all need you
we all need you here
so when morning comes
you’ll have to unlock your door
you can’t hide anymore
you’ll have to face the world

(i’m sorry)

«            »

7-17-18
to you it’s just another night
but to me it’s another fight
shadows surround me now
and i am terrified of what’s inside of me
i want to be filled with you
but i feel so empty still
i wish i could talk to you
i know you’re listening
but i’ll keep it to myself
i’ve broken all my laws
but i won’t murder you too


there’s more, but i’m never really happy with what i write. this is all i could find that i liked enough to share.

stay alive

jenny

looking down

they say that you can tell a lot about a person by their shoes
but i don’t think that’s true
maybe the woman in high heels would rather be in converse
maybe the man in sneakers prefers italian leather
but i wouldn’t know
i’m too busy trying to find out who they are by their shoes
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so i had an impromptu presentation in history class today.
I got so nervous that i started laughing.
i couldn’t stop and the teacher was just laughing back at me.
long story short, it was a train wreck, and i don’t think i even got
half the words out of my mouth.

the older i get, the more nervous i am.
i don’t know why.
it’s harder and harder and harder to look people in the
eyes, so i just look down now.

is it just me?
i hope not.

stay alive

jenny

trees

i know where you stand,
silent in the trees
trees, twenty øne piløts

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my feet will sink, along with my soul
as i walk, trying to find home

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its hard to conceal what’s inside
i find i have everything to hide

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the trees seem tall enough to scratch the sky
i could climb to the top and away i could fly

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I wanted to be a better daughter
but i feel as dirty as the water


i went to the park by my house after it rained to capture some photos.
there was no one else there.
gray days seem to clear my mind.

stay alive

jenny